The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
