Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
