let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
