I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
