You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
