got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
there is puke in my bra ... again
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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