Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
