i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize