I am spending my child support on dildos
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
