I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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