I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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