So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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