i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
