her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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