Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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