Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
