Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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