Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
