what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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