Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
