I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
