My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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