We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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