i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
