Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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