the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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