I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
