I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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