I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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