I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
