and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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