I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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