I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
