just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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