is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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