Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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