The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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