Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
