Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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