I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
