Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
