I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
