This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
