your thong is hanging out like whoa
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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