Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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