is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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