he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
