Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
