making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize