I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
