you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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