Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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