I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
