Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
