yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Say something about gay babies.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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