Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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