My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You pole danced in your parka.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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