I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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