are you still at the devil's house?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
