Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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