I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
