I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
