im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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