I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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